HOW TO MAKE A POINT WITHOUT MAKING AN ENEMY
By Rev Fr Paulinus Ike Ogara
There is something that communicators everywhere need to know. One who lays claim to public attention, using a public forum, must reflect public concerns. Because a person’s post is for public consumption, a sense of social commitment is mandatory upon that person. I am bringing the issue forward because I see many who are intolerant of criticism. One who is averse to criticism has no business making one’s ideas public. Such a person should keep his thoughts to himself.
Suffice it to say that what you say or write should reflect your knowledge of the topic you are treating. It is strange how people pontificate on matters they know very little about. All should be made aware of the harm involved in this sort of behaviour. The fact that absence of knowledge misinforms the audience is warning enough it is dangerous.
This point is fleshed out in my book: How to Write. I repeat for the sake of emphasis - if you do not know much about something, you are not in a position to comment on it. You should therefore reserve your judgment until you are better informed. That is a demand of wisdom and common sense. It is knowledge that lends authenticity and credibility to communication such that those who have no knowledge are not qualified to teach others.
There is something else which I feel I should bring to everyone’s attention: We are in the media to share ideas and learn from one another. All of us should keep this in mind always even when some people become petty and try to distract us. Since all are partners in the learning process, you must learn to welcome criticism. There is no problem with people criticizing you because you are human and no human being is irreproachable. Remember that you are a teacher and that your public have a right to be well informed. You mean well and your critics mean well too. A communicator who has no critic is at a decided disadvantage.
What some people have brought to the table is insult. That’s the sort of thing they do with alacrity and understandably, many are disturbed by the inflammatory writings. But I have also noticed some acidity in people’s reactions and counter-reactions. Make no mistake about that. If somebody insults you and you insult him back, both of you are on a level. You cannot deny your own share of responsibility even though a greater part of the blame belongs to your offender since he is the one who ignited the fire that provoked the smoke. A saying has it that two wrongs can’t make a right.
It must be stated that insult is an irritant. It alienates and antagonizes others. In expressing our ideas as communicators, much gentleness is required. We must avoid all hateful, spiteful, and irritating expressions and try as much as possible not to insult people by our words. It is a demand of proper conduct. Communicators must learn to make a point without making an enemy and to disagree without being disagreeable.